Stardust Inquests – Pen Portraits – Day 13

McHugh, Caroline – Maurice and Phyllis McHugh

We are Phyllis and Maurice McHugh now in our eighties, our golden years. We are the mother and father of our only child Caroline. Aged 17 years. Caroline’s young life was cruelly taken away from her that cold February Valentine’s morning in that horrendous fireball. A beautiful young lady with dark complexion, lovely long black hair. She was tall for her age, about 5’4’’. We often wondered if Caroline called out for her mammy and daddy for help as the flames burned her body and did she scream out in pain. We would think about this often in the years that followed with broken hearts.

Caroline was very well educated and finished her schooling in Loreto College, Stephen’s Green. After completing her intermediate exam with merit. Caroline was an avid reader and as a young girl and teenager enjoyed Enid Blyton’s books and reading romantic novels. At college she was taught and practised Christian politeness, along with public speaking, sang in the college choir with whom they won many an award in the feis ceoil. The choir was later to perform at Caroline’s funeral mass with great sadness. Caroline also joined in many of the sporting events in the college. She was also a member of a very well-known Irish dancing school and competed in many a competition and performed in the Saint Patrick’s Day parades. Caroline loved to go swimming with her dad in the local swimming pool.

We had birthday parties in the house once a year, and regular get-togethers was par for the course. There would be at least 20 or so friends and school chums there with music, singing, dancing and having a great time altogether.

On leaving school, Caroline set out to consider a future career by preparing a curriculum vitae and went out for work experience firstly in Roches Stores as a sales assistant and then went for hotel catering. She then went to a large building services contractor and enjoyed working in the estimating department. Her excellence in mathematics was of great benefit to her and the company and this may have been the start of her career. Caroline loved the work and got on extremely well with all the office staff.

Caroline was also a member of a local cb club and was known as slimline and her friend Annmarie Murphy was known as foxy lady. They would spend hours in her bedroom contacting all the other cb members and chatting over the airwaves. This was all to end too soon on that dreadful early morning in the Stardust ballroom.

Phyllis received a wedding invitation in 1980 inviting myself, Caroline, Caroline’s grandmother Betty Allen and grand aunt Angela Dempsey to the wedding of Corinne Allen, Phyllis’s cousin who was getting married in Manchester on Valentine’s day 1981, which was duly accepted. With this in mind, Phyllis baked and decorated a 4-tier wedding cake as a wedding present. Phyllis had learned the art of baking from her dad who was head baker in Bewley’s of Grafton Street.

A couple of weeks before the wedding, Caroline said she did not want to go to the wedding but wanted to stay at home and go to the dancing competition in the Stardust with her friends. We were very reluctant to allow her to stay but in the meantime her best friends mother Alecia offered to look after her as we would be only away for two nights. We always regretted this decision and feel guilty about it to this day.

On Friday morning the 13th February 81, we loaded the car with the carefully boxed wedding cake and some overnight clothes, which we had arranged to travel by ferry to Hollyhead and drive on to Manchester. On the way, we dropped Caroline into her workplace. Little did we know that this was the last time we would see Caroline alive as she waved us off, smiling and saying ‘enjoy yourselves’ and ‘don’t do anything I wouldn’t do’ with a big smile.

We then collected Caroline’s grandmother Betty Allen, now deceased, and Angela Dempsey, Caroline’s grand aunt, now deceased rip. We stayed that night in Manchester in Phyllis’s uncle Jimmy Allen’s house, now deceased. There was great excitement in the house as the bride was making last minute arrangements. Caroline set out on Friday night with 3 friends: Ann Marie Murphy, Linda Bermingham and Julie Stone. Caroline remarked to them that she felt that this was going to be a great night.

The following morning after breakfast we decided to get offside and walk up to the Stretford shopping mall, about 10-minute walk away. We noticed Phyllis’ uncle catching up with us and told us that there had been a fire in Stardust nightclub and that Caroline was missing. We were absolutely devastated and could see that Phyllis’s uncle was shaking after given us the bad news.

We made a few phone calls home to each family looking for an update on Caroline’s whereabouts, but no new information as yet. At that stage, we agreed to leave and made our way to Manchester city centre, parked the car and went to look for a travel agent which we found in the Arlington shopping mall. We explained our situation and the staff were very helpful and the earliest flight we could get back to Dublin was from Liverpool at seven o`clock that night. At that time, there was no mobile phones and we had to use a coin box, so every half hour we phoned home looking for updates.

At about 1pm Phyllis’s brother-in-law Bobby Colgan now deceased told us that his brother Dr Brendan Colgan, now deceased, was allowed into the morgue to see the bodies. He thought that one of the remains was Caroline but was not 100% sure. We were in complete shock.

We then drove down to Liverpool airport and as we were travelling not a word was spoken in the car such was our grief. We arrived back in Dublin airport about 8:30 pm. Members of both families were waiting for us and drove us straight to the morgue.

We were met in the morgue and introduced to Detective Garda O’ Sullivan and a nun. There was a very chilly atmosphere in the morgue, and it was extremely cold outside. We were advised not to see the remains because of severe burns and that she had no hair, was unrecognisable and unidentifiable.

We were informed that Caroline had been bagged and tagged as no 6. We were then handed a piece of a back pocket of Caroline’s jeans with a melted comb stuck to it. The pocket was soaking wet, also handed to us was the melted remains of a wristwatch and thirdly, the remains of a gold chain partly melted with Caroline’s name on it. When the detective later came back to us and confirmed that it was a positive identification of Caroline, we were absolutely exhausted, upset and in unimaginable grief as tears flowed.

Afterwards, on Sunday morning after a restless night we started to think about our next move: funeral arrangements etc. Our families arrived and then the whole of the office staff of building services estimating department, neighbours and friends arrived to offer support and sympathy, everybody rallied around and organised

refreshments etc this went on the whole day. We got a phone call from the gardai today that Caroline had been coffined and was now down in Stafford’s funeral home in north strand. The coffin remained closed, and it was a horrible feeling that we couldn’t see Caroline and we were deeply upset.

We also got word to say that the wedding was upset by the news of Caroline’s death and that during speeches the bride and groom broke down in tears along with a lot of the guests.

Happily, four of her friends escaped although mentally scarred and covered with black soot. Ann Marie Murphy, a good friend of Caroline who was with her that night, told us shortly after that she was having a nightmare about the fire and never forgets that Caroline appeared and hovered above her smiling like an angel. Her beautiful long black hair was shining and glowing in the dark as she smiled dow on her in a ghostly image.

Linda Bermingham who was also with her that night, 40 years on never forgets her on birthdays and anniversaries and would always every year place a note in the obituary column and birthday remembrance column in the evening herald without fail. A true blue to this day. Linda commented 40 years on that she wished that night never happened. Neighbours on Ardlea Road never forgot her to this day and would often present us with flowers on every anniversary and remark that they would visualise and remember Caroline walking down the road to her home.

Over the last 40 years, a day never goes by without us thinking of our beautiful daughter now lying in a cold grave buried six-foot underground, marked by a black marble stone engraved with her name on it, we visit the grave once a week without fail to tend to the grave and adorn it with flowers, still grieving for our lost daughter cruelly taken away from us so young. We often wonder on that night did Caroline shout out the names of her daddy and mammy. Caroline loved her daddy and mammy.

We would often discuss between ourselves what could have been if Caroline had of lived, would she have had a successful career, got married, have children and have given us grandchildren.

We feel that we have missed out on a lot. We feel this more when we visit Caroline’s uncles and aunties especially at Christmas time, easter, birthdays, anniversaries and see all her cousins and their children there while thinking to ourselves that Caroline should have been be there. It makes us feel so sad and emotional and brings tears to our eyes.

Caroline also had a grandmother Catherine McHugh, now deceased. Two uncles Pat and Kevin McHugh, now deceased, two aunties May Lally née McHugh and Pauline Hayden née McHugh, now both deceased, uncle Noel Hayden, deceased also, auntie Geraldine Colgan née Allen, now deceased, uncle Bobby Colgan, now deceased. Survivors auntie Carmel Hyland née Allen and uncle Ritchie Hyland, auntie Theresa Fitzgerald née Allen, and uncle Michael Fitzgerald. Cousins Kiernan Lally, Colm Lally, Siobhan Lally, Ita Lally, Una Lally, Lorrainne Hyland, Richard Hyland, Keith Hyland. Denise Colgan, Robert Colgan, Sharon Hayden, Colm Hayden. David Fitzgerald and Louis Clarke.

All of her aunties, uncles, cousins and grandparents loved Caroline to bits and never forget her to this day.

Born on the 1st of July 1963. Caroline grew up to be a very talented young lady whom we dearly loved, and she loved her dad and mam in return and we were very happy together.

When the first tribunal was opened and, in our naivety, we thought that truth and justice would be served and as we now know that never happened.

This day, after 40 years waiting for truth and justice to be served, we hope that at the end of this proper inquest we may get some respite and closure to lessen the burden of our grief.

 Caroline’s Remembrance – by Phyllis McHugh, Caroline’s Mother.

To my beautiful daughter, Caroline,

No words can tell,

No tears express,

The love, the loss,

The emptiness.

You’re not just a memory,

Or part of the past.

You are mine to remember,

As long as life lasts.

They say it’s a beautiful journey,

From the old world to the new.

Some day I will make the journey,

Just to be with you.

Thank you for listening.

Millar, James – Millar, Laura

My name is Laura Millar. Sister of Jim. I am telling this story as all our family has died leaving only me to tell it.

There were 3 boys and 2 girls in the family as well as Mum and Dad. I am the oldest and Jim was next, as there is only 18 months between us, we were always close. I was a tomboy always following Jim and his mates around, but he looked after me. Jim was my brother, but he was also my best friend, and he had his whole life ahead of him. He was 21 and engaged to be married to a lovely girl called Marion. He was so happy. Jim, before all this, travelled the world in the Merchant Navy and then he picked Dublin to settle down in and hopefully raise his family. Jim had left the North after our dad encouraged him, to keep him out of harm’s way – away from the troubles in Northern Ireland at the time. That decision had always come back many times to haunt our dad who now blamed himself for Jim’s death.

The last Christmas before Jim died, they all came up from Dublin (mum and dad and all of the family) and to see my son for the first time. We really had a wonderful Christmas, everybody together again. He and his mates had got jobs in Dublin and had a house they all lived in together, until he got enough money to get a house of his own to live after he and Marion got married. But that was never going to be. Jim was a beautiful person and a loving son and brother. Waving him goodbye after Christmas, little did we know it was the last time we would see him alive.We parted saying my friend Patsy would see them all on valentine’s weekend. Jim had invited us down to Dublin and after he said they had booked tickets to a dance competition in the Stardust. We never made it down as things happened at home, so we couldn’t go.

As a result of us not going down, his fiancé came back up from Dublin and some of his mates with them decided to work over Valentine’s weekend instead, but Jim and Bobby went to the disco that night.

On Saturday when the papers reported about the fire, his fiancé phoned us up and said that not to worry because they had said that they weren’t going. My dad got told on his own at home by the police at about 6 o’clock in the evening of Saturday night. We were told his cry could be heard all over the estate. My friend and I was out and our Nun from the church ran my sister Norah down to get us. Jim and Bobby just wanted to live life as happy and safely as they could but that was denied to them.

So many lives were destroyed that night and to see my mum and dad going to pieces was heart-breaking. What was worse, was our younger brother Martin. We found out later that he and Jim got into a silly argument and as Jim went out of the door, Martin yelled ‘I wish you were dead.’ He was only 12 years old, but he closed himself up and it was weeks before we learned what had taken place. Martin was another one (as well as my dad) who blamed himself and up to his death last year, he never got over it. Well, none of us got over it. You can’t.

Everybody keeps saying to us we were lucky to have not gone down that weekend. I have never seen it that way. Maybe seeing justice being done will help a little, but it’s been a long time coming. Too long. Maybe then they all can rest in peace at last, RIP.